(Dartmouth and Jollimore are sitting atop a mountain of chocolate and painted Easter eggs, crunching on handfuls of some. The chocolate melts slightly with the warmth of their palms, staining them with cocoa brown smudges.)

Dartmouth: Easter – what’s it all about? Well, I’ll tell you one thing – it’s all about making yourself sick from guzzling on chocolate eggs.

Jollimore: That’s the fun of Easter! Chocolate is just so yummy! And chocolate eggs come in all sizes and colours – big or small, milk, white or dark!


Dartmouth: All that chocolate… Unlike real eggs, however, these ones aren’t good for you. They’ve got lots of added sugar – which turns those already rowdy kids into total nightmares. (Shivers)

Jollimore: Kids love Easter, too! Along with all that yummy chocolate, they can also meet the Easter Bunny and go on fun Easter egg hunts! And paint them – some of the eggs we’re sitting on right now are painted!

Dartmouth: (crunching on another Easter egg shell) I just hope it dried off before we sat down on them! Oh, God, I think I’m becoming addicted now…

Jollimore: (also crunching on another Easter egg shell) Glad to see you’re getting into the Easter spirit, Dartmouth. You know, we searched out all these eggs ourselves – at our own school’s Easter egg hunt.

Dartmouth: We? No, you just lazed around with those stupid kids while I did ALL the hunting.

Jollimore: (seeming a bit taken aback) They joined in the hunt too! Easter egg hunts are meant to be a family thing, after all. Or should I say, a school thing.

Dartmouth: Not from what I saw. You and those kids were cosying up to the Easter Bunny. And when I wasn’t looking, some of those little lovelies snuck up and gobbled them up straight from my basket! The absolute cheek of them!

Jollimore: They can’t help it, they’re kids. They love chocolate.

Dartmouth: (beginning to feel a sick daze) So do I… I… don’t… feel… that… good…

Jollimore: Oh? I guess you’ve had a little TOO much chocolate eggs for today, Dartmouth…

Dartmouth: (groaning) Yeah… right… (grabbing at his stomach) I… think… I… feel… sick… (faints onto the heap of eggs with another, louder groan)

Jollimore: (chuckling) I think it’s finally gotten to him. Ah well, still a lot more chocolate to polish off. (crunches on some Mini Eggs)

Happy Easter!