Dartmouth arrived at the school to see Jollimore sporting a rainbow-hued lei, dark sunglasses and black shorts.
“Jollimore, why are you dressed like that? You’re supposed to be teaching.”
“Because we’re going out on a trip to the beach today!” cheered Jollimore, his lei swinging about his neck as he dashed off towards the playground.
“Oh, it’s that time of the school year again, eh?” scoffed Dartmouth, stomping after Jollimore.
A huge green coach on the very edge of the playground just a few metres away from the main car park greeted Dartmouth’s eyes. He noticed that all the students were mimicking Jollimore in their fashion choices – spectrum-hued leis, dark sunglasses and black shorts.
“Oh God, are all the students going to the beach, too?” Dartmouth moaned.
“Of course they are, Dartmouth! It’s what we do every summer!” Jollimore grinned.
“Ugh.” Dartmouth shook his head a little.
The driver opened up the luggage compartment, inviting all the students to store their beach gear inside. “Get everything inside, kids,” ordered Jollimore, beaming brightly as he folded one of the students’ towel up into a neat square, while Dartmouth glared crossly at him.
“Now all in line,” Jollimore ordered again, leading all the students to line up neatly towards the entrance of the bus, and they chatted amiably to each other as Jollimore stepped along the queue, checking up on each student.
“There’s a lot of students at this school, you know that, Jollimore?” Despite it being just morning, Dartmouth was beginning to tire out.
“Yes, but it’s for our own safety,” Jollimore replied.
At that moment, Dartmouth brushed ever-so-slightly past a hidden knife blade on one of the students, scoring a thin line of blood in the flesh of his hand.
“Ahh!” he inhaled sharply, the pain fresh and smarting. He glimpsed very briefly at the scarlet blood streaming down to the tip of his little finger.
“Well, this day trip’s gotten off to a great start, hasn’t it?” He pulled his cuff down to soak up the blood.
“All aboard!” Jollimore called, and the students each took a seat, still chatting to each other.
“It’s like they didn’t even do anything to me.” Dartmouth noticed the students’ casual manner.
“Did what, Dartmouth?” Jollimore asked him, still smiling, and Dartmouth quickly hid his bloodied cuff away from his sight.
“Gonna wash this thing when we get to the sea.” He quietly sighed to himself, peeking at the blood stain on his cuff.
Dartmouth and Jollimore meticulously checked over each pair of students. Some were tapping away on their cellphones, updating their statuses on social networks or playing games to keep themselves entertained.
“I bet they’re planning to kill me on those things…” Dartmouth glowered at the screens. Jollimore whipped around as if he’d heard something, but Dartmouth just shrugged it off, making sure to keep his bloody cuff hidden.
They strolled back down the aisle to double-check on all the students before they set off. Dartmouth folded his arms, glaring at the students, knowing that one of them had secretly cut him.
“So much for ‘safety’…” he shook his head a little.
Dartmouth and Jollimore sat down in the seats directly behind the driver, buckling their seatbelts. Dartmouth cleverly concealed his bloodied cuff by laying his other hand on top.
“Ooh, I can’t wait to make a splash in the sea!” Jollimore exclaimed excitedly, looking forward to arriving at the beach.
“I’m not excited.” Dartmouth sat up firm.
“Aw, come on, Dartmouth. You’ve gotta have something to be excited about at least once in your life,” Jollimore encouraged him..
“Ugh, no…” Dartmouth turned away from Jollimore.
The driver turned to face the students, carrying a clipboard and pen. “Okay, I’m checking if all you kids are here,” he announced so that everybody, including Dartmouth and Jollimore, could hear.
They all listened out as the driver called out each student’s name one at a time, replying with a loud “Here!” when their name was called.
“Where’s that no-gooder who cut me?” Dartmouth glanced crossly around at the students, listening out for the name of the culprit. Once he’d called out all the students’ names, the driver sat back down in his seat.
“So I guess we’re all ready to hit the beach, then!” he remarked, then he started the engine, causing the bus to rev into life. The students all cheered, waving their arms up and down in the air.
“Here we go! Off to the beach!” Jollimore beamed as the bus started driving away.
“I wish I was ill today so I wouldn’t have to go on this stupid day trip…” Dartmouth thought to himself miserably, his head hanging down.
“Oh, Dartmouth…” chuckled Jollimore, playfully nudging him in the chest, but Dartmouth only gave a jaded sigh. The bus negotiated the entrance gates, which shut on their own as it headed out into the city.
Not much really considering it is just the beginning of the story, but I think that using the word Ordered in conjunction with the character Jollimore kind of undermines his character but again I can’t be certain because its only just the start of the story.
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Jollimore is a teacher (though a really cheerful one at that), so he does have to give some orders. Dartmouth is also a teacher, but he is more serious and pessimistic than Jollimore.
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Hi there! I saw your link on reddit asking for feedback. It’s a little hard to give since it’s just the start of what is obviously meant to be a longer story. However there was a good rhythm in the banter between the two teachers. The only thing that bugged me a little was how often they used each others names in the spoken dialogue. It just felt a little artificial and unnatural. The other thing was that I didn’t immediately understand that Dartmouth was intentionally cut? When I initially read that section it seemed as though it was just and accident. I think it may have been his immediate reaction afterwards? Sounds like it’s headed towards being a fun, light-hearted story though, and the contrast between the two teachers personalities is interesting.
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Dartmouth didn’t know one of the students had a knife hidden on him, so it was intentional rather than accidental. And it’s a comedy/drama, so it’s supposed to be funny and yet a little sad at the same time, since Dartmouth later runs into a bit of trouble on the beach (it’s in a later chapter, so spoilers, sort of…?) 🙂
And I’ve always liked the idea of putting together two teachers who have drastic differences in their outlooks on life, so it’s like Dartmouth is constantly in conflict with Jollimore since Dartmouth is pessimistic and Jollimore is optimistic (though he does know when to act seriously). 🙂
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